The Only Men Who Ever Protected Me Were Gay

Straight women have been sold a narrative that straight men “protect and provide” although the protection part is purely fantasy. When you actually need protection, gay men are far more likely to come through.

Rachel Presser
11 min readJun 13, 2023

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Two white men wearing rainbow wristbands holding hands over a black background
Licensed via Adobe Stock

If you’re a cishet woman of virtually any age, how much do you recall the notion of “women need men to protect and save them” being instilled in you even if you come from a fairly ecumenical and liberal background?

Chances are that it was inescapable, even in pockets of America where little girls received the messaging that they could be whatever they wanted growing up. As an elder Millennial who grew up in the late 80s and early 90s, we were definitely given conflicting images of the Disney princess being saved by a prince and the career-driven ingenue who’s just Not Like Other Girls.

Even Sex and the City, for all its revolutionizing in somewhat-aromantic characters like Samantha Jones and the way that women discussed sex with their girlfriends, still ultimately upheld this ideal that marrying rich was your ultimate life goal (which…

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Rachel Presser

Game dev, writer, small biz & tax consultant to indie devs. That loud socialist Frog Slut from The Bronx, now in Angel City. https://linktr.ee/sonictoad