No, Chuds. Women Don’t Lose the Ability to “Pair Bond” After Multiple Sex Partners

I investigated and debunked the latest stupid manosphere brouhaha chock full of boring and reductive 20th century slut-shaming so you don’t have to!

Rachel Presser
6 min readJan 6


Room with gray walls in severe disrepair in abandoned house and model with a Victorian white nightgown and long frizzy hair with a dead-eyed gaze
Licensed via Adobe Stock // This is what the chuds want us to envision; all alone in haunted houses built on our love of getting pounded like a dented Toyota at the junkyard! …which if that’s what we have to do to afford a goddamn house in this economy, that sounds pretty good.

So there’s this trend on Twitter, Reddit, and now it’s arrived at Medium: “manosphere” chuds who purport to be experts in women’s anatomy and sexuality are trumpeting about “pair bonding”.

AskAubry on Twitter braved Reddit and 4chan so we didn’t have to, and yanked up a bunch of rants about so-called pair bonding.

It refers to how straight women have a difficult time emotionally bonding with their husbands or boyfriends. Not because of how they’re treated and whether they lack shared values or interests. Oh no, it’s all about how many men she’s slept with! Apparently, a woman will not bond with a man and fall in love with him during sex if she’s had “too many” past sex partners. They claim this is because only women, not men, are supposed to feel intense romantic feelings during sex on account of oxytocin release, and she has a limited reserve of this that runs out by the time she gets with him.

It’s so goddamn hilariously ridiculous that I don’t even know WHERE to begin, except that it’s really rich that these men claim to be experts on women’s physiology when they couldn’t even find a woman’s clit with a Garmin voiced by David Attenborough.

So, I guess let’s start with basic biology because this is apparently what these chuds slept through in high school and college.

I’m a science-minded gal, even though I’m more of the computer and reptile sciences type. But I did my time in grad school and now I get paid to solve problems and investigate for a living to subsidize my game dev habit, so here’s what you need to know in plain English.

Oxytocin is a hormone produced in the hypothalamus, which means people of any gender can produce it. It’s not a gendered hormone like estrogen.



Rachel Presser

Game dev, writer, small biz & tax consultant to indie devs. That loud socialist Frog Slut from The Bronx, now in Angel City.