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Game dev, writer, small biz & tax consultant to indie devs. Above all, socialist childfree shitposting crazy toad lady from The Fucking Bronx www.sonictoad.com

Making and getting lots of phone calls was a raison d’etre for millions of Millennial girls in particular, but once we hit our thirties, the phone became the equivalent of junk mail. Did this have unintended consequences?

young woman in white-blonde wig wearing an orange jacket talking on a hot pink corded phone on dusty rose background
Licensed via Adobe Stock

Millennials, especially those of us on the older end who were born in Reagan’s second term, are a generation of many dualities. Duality comes up in so much of my work and I always thought it was just because of a vast amount of personal circumstances and life events.

But it turns out my entire generation is riddled with them. Our lives have been colored by hope and doom alike, and we watched technology and communications advance at different speeds.

We saw the end of the old world and the last decade of relative stability and prosperity for many Americans…


Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones is treated by the media crit community as this virtually satirical character who’s been touted as unrealistic by viewers, particularly younger viewers coming across the show for the first time. But as my forties loom closer, I find her MORE realistic and relatable than ever before.

Still of Kim Cattrall as Samantha Jones in a red dress and sexy, confident pose from Sex and the City’s fourth season
©HBO

I distinctly recall this conversation I had with this guy I slept with after a punk show in 2010.

“So, what’s your plans?” This was the exact conversation I wanted to avoid. I somehow woke up in some bumblefuck place in Suffolk County, a ways off from my safe and solitary dumpy domicile in The Bronx. Being a grad student broker than Mike Pence after Biden’s inauguration, and the fact that it would take a couple years before rideshare apps would become de rigeur, I unfortunately had to depend on this lamentable one-shot deal for a ride back to the…


With about six months to go until my planned move, I experienced an unexpected nervous breakdown.

Pile of moving boxes in a truck with a big white one that says “Fragile”
By Sigmund via Unsplash

Moving is stressful and expensive, even in the best of circumstances.

Even with tons of advance planning.

Even if this is all you’ve wanted for SO long.

Even with having the flexibility of your own digital business that no one can take from you and you can’t be fired from, and the pesky bureaucratic hurdles of changing states got nothing on your present and future relying on an employer.

I recently went on vacation and didn’t head straight home when I was done enjoying the chill coastal breezes and cactus gardens of San Diego. I took the train up to…


Tips from a seasoned single Millennial sky warrior to help you enjoy the trip and time off you deserve.

Pair of sunglasses sitting on a sunny beach
Photo by Ethan Robertson via Unsplash

Vaccination rates are up and restrictions are easing. While this pandemic is far from over, the fully vaxxed are definitely ready to break out of the monotony and mass trauma and have a break.

Speaking for myself, I had a whole bunch of airline credits that were going to expire and for weeks I’d just been slogging along. I wasn’t getting anything done on my game in development. Didn’t feel very inspired for writing on here, and it took me so much longer to get things done for my clients than usual. …


It hit me that in pushing back on the narrative of “single women over 35 need to take what we can get”, we don’t actually define what “refusal to settle” really means

Licensed via Adobe Stock

There’s this whole Single Women Shaming Industrial Complex that’s hellbent on selling us products — be they books, classes, skincare regimens, dating apps — and also telling us that we better lock it down with the first guy who says “hello.”

It says that women over 35 in particular “lose their value,” which is a complete crock. Apparently, we’re going to be so horribly alone. (Which honestly, is the prospect of being single really THAT bad?)

So if we say that we refuse to settle, we’re often shot back with how we shouldn’t demand this laundry list of things we…


It looked shiny and futuristic, but was actually uncomfortable and your ass often hit the floor: just like most Millennials’ futures.

Group of friends eating pizza on colorful inflatable couches, chairs, and ottomans similar to the kind that were popular in the 1990s
Found on Pinterest // There is no way a similar pizza party happened outside of this product shoot. That ottoman would be deflating like our purchasing power come 2008.

I distinctly recall the first time I ever saw an inflatable chair: it was the summer of 1998 and this catalog called Just Nikki, which appeared to be like the mailbox staple dELiA*s but on steroids, had an entire section of delightfully impractical home goods.

There was even an inflatable 3-seat couch and a whole-ass bed.

I didn’t actually know a single soul who had inflatable furniture. I remember going to the Jersey shore and practically wanting to live in this store that had a neon pink inflatable couch and orange chair, complete with Clueless-esque feather pens, faux fur covered…


I value myself SO much more after 35 than I did when I was emotionally and financially insecure, plus chock full of untreated mental health issues in my twenties.

Licensed via Adobe Stock

It’s been a few days and that nuclear take about women over 35 being totally hopeless with respect to getting married is still going wild. Shani Silver’s fantastic rebuttal to it got me thinking.

Let’s get this straight: according to the US Census Bureau, women are expected to make it to 81.7 years and life expectancy for both men and women is only increasing overall.

But there is this entire force in the media and a cottage industry based on telling women that literally more than half their lives are going to be worthless.

Excuse me, do I have a price tag on my ass I wasn’t aware of?

Because if I do, then I…


Maybe we shouldn’t obsess about data and and just live our best lives.

geometric pink heart over blue gradient and swirl background
Assembled by author in Canva

So, I read this piece earlier about educated women being less likely to pair off after 35 and it gave me pause. I think the author raised a few good points, but to me it still sounds like fear-mongering. I agreed with her conclusion, but I found the messaging a bit troubling.

Browse Medium and you’ll find scads of stories about how women should fear these sad and lonely futures because beauty fades, some creepy white supremacist shit about “fertility” when women are having kids well into their forties nowadays, and yadda yadda. …


Paying a condo board instead of a landlord has been awesome on my wallet, but just because you put down roots doesn’t mean anything will grow and flourish.

Gray, white, and red plastic model house on wooden desk next to house keys, real estate concept
Tierra Mallorca via Unsplash

I recently heard someone I know describe their recent home purchase as “putting down roots”. I can see why: for most people, it’s not a routine transaction. You intend to buy a place for keeps, or at least for a long enough time to make it worth the hassle and upfront costs.

Buying or selling a home is a long and stressful process. It’s been touted as the cornerstone of the American Dream that kept being squeezed from Millennials’ grasp, if it was even accessible to you and your family to begin with. I hail from a land where lifelong…


This dating sim game is as unapologetically queer and horny as it is heartwarming, and proof that sex and romance don’t completely vanish in old age

Screenshot of Later Daters game with characters Jax, Mariana, and Blair in the courtyard, and Blair’s dialog box proclaiming “Well, I, for one, think we should all have as much sex as we can before we kick the bucket!”
©Bloom Digital

Why are most love stories, in virtually any medium but particularly in video games, limited to the early years of life? There’s got to be a boundless number of college-centered dating sims, RPGs, and visual novels, when frankly, you couldn’t give me a million bucks and a paid off condo on Miracle Mile to be 21 again.

Later Daters does the complete opposite and focuses on sex and romance in old age: something we’re honestly long overdue for in a video game, as older characters are often not represented at all. …

Rachel Presser

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