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Game dev, writer, small biz & tax consultant to indie devs. Above all, socialist childfree shitposting crazy toad lady from The Fucking Bronx www.sonictoad.com

Making and getting lots of phone calls was a raison d’etre for millions of Millennial girls in particular, but once we hit our thirties, the phone became the equivalent of junk mail. Did this have unintended consequences?

young woman in white-blonde wig wearing an orange jacket talking on a hot pink corded phone on dusty rose background
Licensed via Adobe Stock

Millennials, especially those of us on the older end who were born in Reagan’s second term, are a generation of many dualities. Duality comes up in so much of my work and I always thought it was just because of a vast amount of personal circumstances and life events.

But it turns out my entire generation is riddled with them. Our lives have been colored by hope and doom alike, and we watched technology and communications advance at different speeds.

We saw the end of the old world and the last decade of relative stability and prosperity for many Americans…


Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones is treated by the media crit community as this virtually satirical character who’s been touted as unrealistic by viewers, particularly younger viewers coming across the show for the first time. But as my forties loom closer, I find her MORE realistic and relatable than ever before.

Still of Kim Cattrall as Samantha Jones in a red dress and sexy, confident pose from Sex and the City’s fourth season
©HBO

I distinctly recall this conversation I had with this guy I slept with after a punk show in 2010.

“So, what’s your plans?” This was the exact conversation I wanted to avoid. I somehow woke up in some bumblefuck place in Suffolk County, a ways off from my safe and solitary dumpy domicile in The Bronx. Being a grad student broker than Mike Pence after Biden’s inauguration, and the fact that it would take a couple years before rideshare apps would become de rigeur, I unfortunately had to depend on this lamentable one-shot deal for a ride back to the…


NFT = Nifty Fucking Toad

Get on the hopchain and have your amphibians generate passive income while the planet burns like grilled cheese on a skillet

Made by me and my amphibious minions in Canva

Bros, bros, bros.

You weren’t just doing mindfulness all wrong; you haven’t quite gotten this whole crypto investor thing on lock either. Why settle for becoming a Bitcoin millionaire when you could potentially outearn Jeff Bezos by getting on the FROGCOIN train?

As your resident shitposting herper who has never owned or mined any Ethereum whatsoever, I’m going to teach you all about how you can latch onto the hottest new cryptocurrency like amplexing cane toads! …


If education is a lifelong pursuit, why do society, culture, and media make the college experience out to be something you only do fresh out of high school?

Instructor teaching a classroom of adult students of varying ages with laptops and papers
Licensed via Adobe Stock

I saw this tweet a couple days ago, and it got the gears in my brain turning, as well-constructed Twitter conversations often do.

Tweet transcription from Hank Green: “For folks who have recently gone through college, what’s something you know now that you really wish you’d known going in?”

I graduated college in 2009, grad school in 2012. Although according to my actual paper degrees, the years are 2010 and 2013 because I finished both in the winter. …


You can’t always tell intent by its outer shell

Dark wall with a rack of suit blazers in various shades of gray
Licensed via Adobe Stock

A suit can hide many things. Tattoos. Scars. Dreams and realities.

Those bristling seas of suits as empty as the platitudes they’re given about teamwork and mission statements. See you at the office baseball game, Bill. I wonder if the rumors are true that he’s fucking Stacy in accounting.

Suits of all shapes, sizes, and colors.

Some have a designer label. Some are bright and garish like the contingent of pink, yellow, and blue packets poured in the writhing mass of mass-produced coffee, and just as saccharine and hollow. Coffee swallowed without question every morning just like culture.

It’s just…


All women get presented with is a simplistic binary

Woman walking alone in a sunny park on crossroads, left signpost says “Career”, right signpost has image of a family
Assembled by author in Canva

So I read this piece, and it pissed me off.

We’ve been getting a million panic pieces that just blame and shame women for why they’re not having kids — whether it’s by choice or not — and it needs to stop.

Have these people seriously not noticed that America has basically become neo-feudal as the planet burns like a pizza bagel that got too close to the toaster’s roof? Even the ocean is on fire.


The mindfulness industry is about to be DISRUPTED with claws, scales, and scads of reptilian cuteness

Bros, you’ve been doing mindfulness and meditation all wrong!

Large black Asian water monitor lounging on sunny grass
A precious Asian water monitor photographed by Olexandr Topchylo for Wikimedia Commons

The Mindfulness Industrial Complex has been experiencing incendiary growth in recent years. Warren Muppet, Melon Husk, and all the other billionaires are investing entire economies of Eastern European nations into mindfulness startups.

The industry is reporting a 14,000% growth rate with a $20 quadrillion market cap because of how easy it is to sell. …


Making video games, writing rants, petting amphibians, starting a new death metal band, and getting dicked until I can't drive over the Cross Bronx anymore without being in severe pain.

AND I LOVE MAKING THEIR BRAINS EXPLODE WHEN I SAY THIS


There’s been much confusion and ire about these random bonus royalties. I tried to crack the nut of how I got into the top 1,000 writers without really trying.

Mint green and yellow construction paper background with five $100 bills superimposed on top in a fan pattern
Made by author in Canva

So I don’t normally participate in the “writing about Medium” niche partly because I don’t profess to be an expert in making money on this platform, and partly due to pieces about this actual place supposedly falling into a curation blackhole on purpose.

But there’s been so much confusion and even resent regarding this recent phenomenon, the Member List Bonus, that I felt the need to write about it since I’m honestly scratching my head on this now.

Look, I’m not objecting to Medium giving me an unexpected $1,500 over the past three months at all. Keep it coming, Ev…


There’s a million memes, jokes, and videos about dead malls but the fervored discussion conceals what we won’t say out loud: cities and suburbs alike are losing places we can socialize and foster communities.

Interior of a dilapidated abandoned mall with escalator and floor tiles prominently featured
Licensed via Adobe Stock

I was inspired to write this after I read this brilliant and heart-rending piece by Jacqueline Dooley.

I’ve been following the dead mall phenomenon for years myself. I’ve written about it for current and previous columns, like the mass repurposing of abandoned malls for housing and VR experiences.

As someone who spends a lot of time deciphering the epidemic levels of Millennial loneliness and feels like facepalming every time yet another thinkpiece comes out proclaiming that social media is making us miserable and we just need to go out and talk to people again — they’ve forgotten how it’s not…

Rachel Presser

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