Game dev, writer, small biz & tax consultant to indie devs. Above all, socialist childfree shitposting crazy toad lady from The Fucking Bronx www.sonictoad.com

Upon revisiting that old love letter, I found myself uncontrollably sobbing several times at this time capsule of the city my family called home for over 130 years.

Still of Home Alone 2 where Kevin is riding in a yellow taxi down the Queensboro Bridge
Still of Home Alone 2 where Kevin is riding in a yellow taxi down the Queensboro Bridge
©20th Century Fox

There’s also the cult classics adored by millions, and the countless cheap Hallmark movies about a cosmopolitan businesswoman in New York or LA who just needs some fine dicking down from a small town guy to make her rediscover the magic of the birth of Jesus.

Home Alone 2 belongs in those primary and tertiary categories.

It wasn’t just a financial success that raked in $359 million against its $28 million budget, according to its Wikipedia page. Home Alone 2 has been firmly stamped in Millennial consciousness as the ideal Christmas movie. For many of us, it’s also the preeminent example of a sequel that was better than the original despite the original Home Alone dwarfing it by over $100 million at the box office. …


“Wait your turn” was a good platitude in kindergarten, not obstructing an entire generation after the turn of the millennium.

Image for post
Image for post
Licensed via Canva Pro

There’s much to be said about some of the more pernicious childrearing methods Millennials bore the brunt of from their Boomer parents. Having grown up in an unstable household with an abusive parent and an enabling parent who romanticized the past far too much, I thought that the fatalism imposed upon me — which centered around waiting — was just personal.

All my life, I was told to wait things out. To wait until I graduated high school to have any semblance of happiness and an end to the constant trauma I endured. To wait until I was a bill-paying adult who could vote. …


We don’t have to do these mental gymnastics or mold our behaviors to the expectations of men.

brunette woman laying naked in queen bed with white flowers next to her
brunette woman laying naked in queen bed with white flowers next to her
Photo by We-Vibe via Unsplash

I had been texting one of my friends about our post-COVID plans and the conversation got rather salacious. I was taking a swig of coffee as this message was coming in, and summarily spilled some on my two-day lounge pants that belied some of the sultry topics at hand.

“The fuck do you mean?” I retorted.

“Well, you’ve gone on about how much you want a guy to raise a bunch of toads with…”

It’s not like I got monogamous relationship-minded men with similar life goals lined up outside the door, there’s the whole impending cross-country move deal, can’t date…


Stop treating women like the kids we don’t want to have (or have any more of).

Cartoon of a nervous Black woman sitting across a white male doctor’s desk
Cartoon of a nervous Black woman sitting across a white male doctor’s desk
Licensed via Adobe Stock

At the time of writing, I’m 35 years old. I’ve known for 15 solid years that I didn’t want to have children. I thought that by now, my efforts to at least get a tubal ligation would be honored, if not a full hysterectomy. But no.

I just got ANOTHER denial because “you’re too young without kids and could change your mind”. Too young?? I am literally less than a year away from “geriatric pregnancy” if I did get knocked up by accident. Whatever eggs I have left that didn’t get squashed from years of trauma, hard drinking in my youth, and almost killing myself with stress at various points of my life should be dried up in less than a decade! …


People keep referring to cities or areas as hard places to live in, but usually don’t specify why.

lateral view of Mateo Street in Los Angeles, gray sky, graffiti-covered buildings and dumpster
lateral view of Mateo Street in Los Angeles, gray sky, graffiti-covered buildings and dumpster
Mateo St. in LA, by Brandi Ibaro via Unsplash

Some variation of the following two phrases frequently comes up when I discuss my moving plans, COVID vaccine and some affairs to get in order notwithstanding.

“So you’re moving to LA…that’s a hard place.”

“Be careful, people in Los Angeles are fake.”

That second one always makes me derisively giggle. Because there’s honestly fewer things faker in this world than the delusions of safety and happiness in your average American suburb. It’s fakeness on par with Mickey Rourke’s face. You’re not “safe” there, your neighborhood is white and you won’t say the quiet part out loud. Crime stats just seem low because more people who get caught can afford lawyers. You don’t see how the other half lives because it’s easier to hide and there’s no “poor doors” with suburban developments redolent with authoritarian HOAs telling you what to do with something you supposedly own. …


This phenomenon angers and befuddles many. As someone who lived a double life as a teenager, I have insight on this matter.

Racially ambiguous female model in gray sweatshirt with long brown hair hiding her face in the wind
Racially ambiguous female model in gray sweatshirt with long brown hair hiding her face in the wind
Photo by Yoann Boyer via Unsplash

There’s been this odd rash of white women, mostly in academia, in the past year who have posed as a different race.

Rachel Dolezal was the most prominent case of this where she was a college professor who posed as a mixed race or light-skinned Black woman for several years, even legally changing her name to Nkechi Amare Diallo and leading a NAACP chapter until her parents outed her. It sparked this debate on whether “transracialism” is something as valid as being transgender, but it was mostly met with anger and disbelief.

Turns out she wasn’t the only one. There have been women in academia who also did this for years, got found out, then resign from their posts and hide in shame if they were not terminated like Dolezal was. BIPOC scholars and writers are rightfully hurt and furious, especially if they were denied academic and/or professional opportunities based on racial prejudice and misogynoir. Many Black women see it as a systemic form of violence against them. I do not fault them for feeling this way. …


Even women’s attempts to alleviate their own pain and suffering has to be cloaked in this sneering condescension that her body is this noncompliant source of discord that must be “fixed” at all costs.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Arteum via Unsplash

First, let me start by saying I’m not a candidate for breast reduction surgery, nor am I interested in having this procedure.

I didn’t even WANT information about it, but wound up with it because so goes the way of Google algorithms. It’s also a highly personal decision and if you do or don’t want the operation regardless of whether a medical professional has suggested it you, I respect your choice. …


We need to talk about adult supremacy and toxic parenting culture, because not all parenting decisions warrant forgiveness.

Sad young boy in dark green jacket and black pants hiding his face and slumped over on a barren farm field
Sad young boy in dark green jacket and black pants hiding his face and slumped over on a barren farm field
Photo by Francisco Gonzalez on Unsplash

Content Warning: I discuss some first-hand experiences of child abuse: emotional abuse, physical violence, day-to-day life with an extremely unstable parent, and death threats against a child which may disturb or trigger some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

I was spurred to write this when this tweet by Keke Palmer went viral — as did several responses to it:

I think she meant well, but no. Not all parents deserve forgiveness.

“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but forgive your parents.”

Okay, there’s much to unpack in that statement.

What are you forgiving your parents for?

Moreover, are their actions worthy of forgiveness? …


Something about how much old tech I could hold in my hands made the dreams persist much more strongly.

Image for post
Image for post
Licensed via Adobe Stock

The elder end of Millennials born in the Reagan years grew up in a world that teetered on this technological and social precipice. It was a world that was between the old order of things which had its claws firmly stabbed into the bygone Great Society, and where we are today.

It was an age where we watched technology evolve. Depending on where you lived, there was a strong chance that your parents and teachers thought you were gifted for knowing how to use computers. …


“I Love Lisa” from the fourth season of The Simpsons is still worth a watch, but contains some content and concepts that are more frightening in hindsight than any horror movie.

Image for post
Image for post
©20th Century Fox, Disney

With Halloween coming up, you’d think this would be a good time for a Treehouse of Horror retrospective.

But given that The Simpsons was so visionary and reflective of our culture when it first rose in prominence in the 1990s, revisiting episodes from the show’s “golden age” are more my jam. After all, I remember seeing most of those episodes when I was a child and it was this huge subversive deal before animated shows for adult audiences became a regular occurrence.

And something more frightening than any references to The Shining or well-placed retro horror pastiche? That classic Valentine’s Day tale of unrequited love between two Springfieldian schoolchildren, “I Love Lisa”. I revisited “Selma’s Choice” in looking at how attitudes towards single women over 30 have evolved at an utterly glacial pace, and it turns out that several ideas in “I Love Lisa” also speak to truly horrific undercurrents in American society that sadly, have not changed much. …

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store